Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Staying the Course

The greatest challenge in our busy lives is consistency.

As men we know this to be true.  We are performance oriented and we want results.  Many men take a long time to make a commitment because they don’t want to fail.

I can’t encourage you enough to buy the book “The Blessing” by Trent and Smalley. 

But my last note concerning the final element of The Blessing is a personal plea.

My brothers, those of you who are fathers, stay the course

Active commitment is the last element of The Blessing and it is the foundation for everything else.
Farmers don't immediately see the fruit.
Farmers (like fathers) sow and labor by faith.
You can’t regain by sacrifice what you lose through disobedience.  How often do we hear of fathers trying to “buy” their child’s love or make-up for lost years? 

Meaningful touch only counts if we are consistent.  A spoken message will only be heard when it is consistent.  Consistency immediately speaks high value to our child.  You can’t help picture a special future for your child if you aren’t in his or her present reality. 

There are two major reasons why a father will fail to be consistent. 

The first reason is that a man’s own father never blessed him.  Look, get over it in the Name of your God and Savior Jesus Christ.  How dare you help bring a child into this world and continue to be so self-centered!  Walk in the blessing of your Heavenly Father and by blessing your children YOU will experience healing.  Period.

The second reason is that most men desire to see immediate results.  But fathering is like being a farmer.  You cultivate the soil, plant the seeds, water the earth, protect from creatures and wait by faith believing that God will bring the increase.

Remember that The Blessing is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance.  So keep being a blessing no matter what you see or how your child responds!  You will reap a wonderful harvest if you faint not!

I encourage you to find other fathers, read The Blessing together, and form a brotherhood of blessing.

This is the heart of biblical patriarchy: A redeeming and sacrificial commitment to love.

Remember, it is never too late.  But the time is now so don’t waste it.

Your brother,

Minister Onorio 


  1. Walk in the blessing of your Heavenly Father and by blessing your children YOU will experience healing.

    Minister O, This one sentence speaks volume because I have lived it.

    When one is living life on what should have been, what could be is slowly going out to sea. And every day you will find yourself standing on the edge of the past with one foot up trying to step into the future. You find yourself wondering if you learned how to swim well enough to take the plunge or if that life preserver within an arms length is strong enough to sustain you when you decide to put your foot down. I believe that fear is not only one of the enemies of the Holy Spirit, but also of Fatherhood. When we raise our children the way our fathers may have raise us, and he was not a positive influence in all areas, we are not being fair to our children when as “Farmers” we are planting apple seeds and expecting orange trees, to say the least. I grew up seeing my dad beat my mom consistently and to add emphasis, relentlessly. When I was in the 3rd grade (it could have been sooner) I made a vow that I was not going to get married and if I did I was not going to beat my wife. As a boy I was convinced that this was normal in all households and what I would have to do as family man. You see not only was my mother beaten, but we were also (mostly me) this is just the beginning of this story but I will save the rest for the book I am writing. My point is that I did experience healing by blessing my children and treating my wife like a queen. Even as a child I always felt God near or what I found out to be God in my later years. Overall consistency was major. Always living up to the promises we make to our children or at least explaining to them why we had to break a promise and not promising to makeup for it if we are not sure we can. I could have chosen to be a curse and follow in my dads steps. Instead I chose to be "The Blessing" and follow in the steps of Jesus. So when I planted apples seeds I and my children expected to see apple trees. Amen.

  2. My brother, I really appreciate your posts. Thank you for your transparency and for seeing your past, present and future through the lens of Christ Jesus our Lord.

  3. Brother Minister,

    You know how much I love the book, "The Blessing" so I had to add a comment. I've experienced he joy of being consistent even when it was difficult to walk in unconditional love with my oldest son when we didn't see eye to eye. But God and only God kept pressing my heart to show consistency to my son because there was such a huge gap of communication between us and I really didn't know what else to do, so I totally submitted and followed the steps of the blessing.

    To keep it short and sweet, my son and I have a great relationship, we communicate better than ever and a few years ago, he gave me a birthday card and in it he wrote, "I love you and I can say it and finally mean it". Those words were priceless.

    As I was afraid of rejection from my son after becoming vulnerable, God showed himself strong in my weakness. I'm intentional about giving all my kids the "blessing", even at times when I feel frustrated and not appreciated. I wasn't always consistent, but within the last few years it has helped me beyond my imagination with my kids and with my wife.

    Thank you again for EVERYTHING!

  4. Lamont - thank you for sharing. I'm looking forward to catching up with you.
    And I believe you hit the nail on the head! Thank you my brother and I am believing God with you for even greater things to come!


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