Sunday, May 29, 2011

A Father's Message

There are times when silence is golden.  Other times when silence is just plain yellow.

When it comes to children silence is not golden.  Silence can be deadly.  It is cowardly to remain silent and not boldly declare our love.

Children don’t need “the strong silent type.”

Children need a father who speaks to them when they are in their mother’s womb.  A father sows faith in his child by reading scripture to his child.  Wise fathers know that nicknames like “champ” and “my super star” affirm a child’s self-esteem.

Silence communicates confusion to a child.

It is not enough for a father to think he “shows” his love with material things.  Human nature requires a spoken message that expresses “the Blessing.”  They need to hear the blessing; Children need to hear that we love them and why we love them.

To see the blessing bloom and grow in our children we need to verbalize our message.  Good intentions aside, good words are necessary to provide genuine acceptance.

Strategic fathers understand the power of words.

Our words have the power of life and death.  So speak life!  We are made in God’s image and his words are synonymous with life, light, liberty and love.  To withhold our words is just as bad or worse than a father who speaks death to his children.

Often fathers start out with a positive spoken message but we can become distracted by work, bills, etc.  But also I think we fail to balance discipline with affirmation.  If most of our words are correcting, training and scolding then we can create emotional distance.  

Bridge the gap with a spoken message of unconditional love and acceptance.

Words not only have the power to create something special in our children, words have the power to draw out potential.  We bring out the best in those we bless.

Remember that “The Blessing” provides children with the foundation for identity, validation, affirmation and sense of purpose.

You don’t wait for a ceremony to be a blessing to your child.  To quote Trent & Smalley, “you never know what small act of love will be the one that your children, spouse, or friends remember as the most significant time you blessed them.”

It is a father’s intentional, consistent, positive, everyday actions and attitude that communicate the blessing.

Remember, it is never too late.

Your brother,

Minister Onorio


  1. When it comes to children silence is not golden. Silence can be deadly. It is cowardly to remain silent and not boldly declare our love. These words from your post Minister O, brought me back to Adam. Perhaps a word spoken to Eve at that moment of temptation could have made the difference. Oh wait, would have made a difference between life and death, but he stood and said nothing so silence was deadly.But that's another sermon. Children are remarkably amazing, curious, precious, SPECIAL in every way, sponges ready to absorb. Where each child learns differently one thing is for certain, they all are hungry for love and word. When my children were in the womb, I would read the bible to them everyday and I continued long after they were born. I remember talking to them in the womb as well.I felt like I was in there with them because I study the developmental stages of a baby in the womb and would pray and speak to them during all the stages. I would say things like "Now God is forming your hands, feet, eyes and so on." I would put my hand on their mothers belly and sometimes after and during prayer they would move. The bond with my children began in the womb and then the intentional, consistent, positive,everyday actions and attitude communicated the blessing. Every day is a ceremony with my children and with my grandchildren. I share this so others can recognize that it's never too late, or too early. The communication line was never busy in our home. We constantly hugged, commended, rebuked when necessary and always showed love and our children heard us say, I love you. We were firm, gentle and fair, allowing our children to be the person God intended them to be, praying to be the parents that God intended us to be for them. So in our home “The Blessing” provided our children with the foundation for identity, validation, affirmation and sense of purpose. Hey, even mute parents can communicate well with their children and be the Blessing. No excuses!!!

  2. My brother! Have you read the Blessing by Trent/Smalley yet? When you said, "Every day is a ceremony with my children and with my grandchildren" that is the image of the Patriarch; especially the Orthodox Jewish Patriarchs and their families. It is an image worth treasuring.

  3. No Minister I have not read the Blessing, but I have been blessed beyond measure to be the blessing in and for my children's lives. However I will get around to reading it, unfortunately I am plague with fatigue due to this illness but I promise I will read it. Especially now that my word (promise)will hold me accountable and so will you. lol Amen Hey, thank you for living and standing in the Blessing. O one more thing after reading this post again round about 1am, I was inspired to pen this poem. Always led by the Spirit so I named it The Blessing

    The blessing

    I wonder if you are wondering
    How I turn out dear dad
    I am sitting, reminiscing
    Of all the fun we had
    The seeds you planted in my heart
    The lessons that I learned
    Those values keep me going
    Through every twist and turn
    Your laughter I still here it
    The person that you are
    The tears you shed for me dad
    God holds them in his jar
    Your hugs were never missing
    I got a daily dose
    I always thanked the Lord
    Each time you held me close
    Your voice was loud and gentle
    Respect you did command
    The things I never understood
    Dear dad I understand
    The nick name that you gave me
    The blessing from the start
    You built a strong foundation
    In body soul and heart
    Dear dad I’m very grateful
    For all that you have done
    All that you did give me
    I give to my daughter and my sons
    One day they will be wondering
    If I am wondering too
    The blessing that they will pass on
    Dear dad, we owe it all to you.

  4. Wow. Praise God! Thank you!

  5. I have struggled with this issue with my eldest son. He is 19. In my zeal to see him grow into a godly man I often judge and criticize everything he does that doesn't appear godly. I don't give him the same grace that my Father has given to me COUNTLESS TIMES. Thank-you for this message. It has convicted me not condemned me. No it is not to late.

  6. Heavenly Father, thank you for "workman approved" and him sharing on this blog. I pray for him and his son that you might bless their relationship; give my brother the right words to speak to his son and through the consistency of the message the two will continue to grow in their relationship. Amen.
    Thank you my brother for sharing. I really encourage you to read the blessing and check out their website for more information;


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