The Beauty of Respect

Respect is a beautiful thing.  Respect is foundational for any healthy, long-term relationship.  Especially marriage.

Respect is synonymous with being honored or esteemed. 

Husbands and wives need to honor and esteem each other in very unique ways.

When a husband honors his wife he can see all the women in a room but his eyes are on his wife.  A wife needs to be esteemed as unique by her husband.  A woman’s uniqueness is one reason why God always intended marriage to be monogamous.

Even single men need to know that a wife who respects them is better than marrying a supermodel.  That supermodel is going to look really ugly when she cuts you up with her words or acts disrespectfully.  The way to a man’s heart is to honor him: to make him feel like he is ten feet tall. 

To bring the beauty out of your marriage, husbands should honor their wives by:

Being consistent.  Honor your wife by making sure that your actions match your words.

Being decisive.  But talk about and plan family budgets, decisions and dreams together.  Honor your wife’s views, opinions and dream together so you won’t grow apart.

Being her one and only.  Make sure that your wife knows that you cherish her.  Honor your wife in your private prayers, in your thought life and in your actions with tenderness. 

So tell me brothers, what truths about respect do you wish more women understood?

And tell us, what advice would you share with men about the value of respecting women?

Please post your thoughts below.

Your brother,

Minister Onorio 

A Chosen Lifestyle, Part V

A Man’s Work

Work is part of a man’s design.  The first thing that God gave Adam was a job to do: To work and keep the garden. 

Work is both a reward and a burden because we live in a fallen world system.  Because we live in a sin-sick world most of our work is under a “curse.”  What do I mean?  We can be productive but its only through blood, sweat and tears.  Even when we land our “dream job” we will find crabby coworkers, insufficient resources or even a tyrannical boss. 

A Framework for Life must start with examining your heart, your strength and your relationships.  Work is a means to an end, not an end in itself.  Too many men make work their main relationship and source of identity. 

Look, I believe I’m called to be in fulltime ministry.  Someone reading might be called to be a doctor.  Both are “noble” callings that “help” lots of people.  But it would be wrong for any work or calling to take precedence over God, our own health and our relationships. 

After all, what happens if you can’t “work” any more?  I’ve seen too many men go through an identity crisis after being laid off or having to retire.  Being jobless is very often a crisis. But job loss shouldn't become the ground for an identity crisis.

At the same time, work is a call from God.  We need to see our work as a calling no matter what we do.  Some callings are for a lifetime and others are only for a season.  In either case our Father still expects us to be faithful and work like he is our direct boss. Remember, God is who we really work for.

• What’s the hardest part about your job?
• Do you see your job as a call from God?

Please post your thoughts and questions below. 

Your brother,

Minister Onorio

The Spirit of the King

Most of the men I know want to be the king of their home.  But Jesus the Christ is the King of kings.  Meaning that our little “kingdoms” need to be subjected to the character, standards and motivations of Christ.  There should be a throne at the center of our lives with the name of Jesus written upon it.  We are called to rule our lives in the Spirit of the King who laid down his life to save us.

Few kings, rulers and leaders have ever embodied the true spirit of leadership.  The true spirit of leadership, as Reverend AR Bernard has taught, is the Spirit of dominion.  When God created man he commanded him to have dominion.  You see, the dominion spirit brings the best out in others.  The dominion mindset understands that we own nothing but we are called to be faithful stewards of everything. 

The spirituality of many kings and rulers has been the satanic spirit of domination.  The domination spirit uses lies, manipulation and fear to take and keep its rule.  After Adam rebelled against God by eating from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil this became the mark of humanity's leadership style. 

The challenge is simple; in what spirit will you lead?

Leadership books are great.  And it is great learning about principles of leadership.  

But we need to grow in our relationship with God through Christ to embody His Spirit of leadership.

• Would our families say that we bring the best out in them
• Would our employers say that we were faithful?
• Would our friends say that we lie and manipulate to get our way?

I pray that our Father would help us to lead like Christ, in the power of the Holy Spirit.

Please post your thoughts and questions below.

Your brother,

Minister Onorio