Friday, April 1, 2011

A Husband's Love

What does it mean for a husband to love his wife?

Love can be defined as benefiting the other at the expense of self.  This is in contrast to lust, which means to take from another to gratify itself. 

The Bible teaches that a husband’s love should be like the love of Jesus Christ for the church.  Remember that the church is not a building but the people chosen by God as the objects of his love.

In fact husbands are commanded to love.  How?  Love is not a feeling first but a decision.  And because of the Holy Spirit a Christian husband can benefit his wife at the expense of his ego, plans and desires.

So what does that love look like?

That love is sacrificial.  Our wants come second to her needs.  A husband’s love is unconditional.  We love her with makeup or no makeup.  We love her for who she is not only for what she does or doesn’t do for us.  Our love should set her apart from all other women.  She has to know that our eyes are only set on her because in our hearts no one can ever compare. 

Our lips should be inspired to consistently utter words of tenderness, appreciation, and healing.  Yes, I said healing.  Why?  Our wives have to walk through the dirt and garbage of this world.  They also experience stress on the job or the worry of being a good wife and mother.  Women tend to become anxious as they work for their families.  Wives and mothers lose their sense of self in giving to their husbands and children.  Our words have to remind them of their uniqueness, beauty, and encourage them to find spiritual rest in Christ Jesus.

Our actions and our words help our wives to walk in splendor.  Everyday should be their wedding day when they are with us.  We should magnify her strengths and help her to manage her weaknesses without judgment.  When she hurts, I hurt.  When she speaks she should know that I am listening. 

Does she feel cherished?  Can she draw strength from us as we draw our strength from the Father?  Do we intentionally esteem her and can she say, “I am my husband’s treasure and prize!” 

Love your wife as Christ loves the church

Please post your thoughts and questions below.

Your brother,

Minister Onorio


  1. I can tell you passionately love your family. I really related with the part about our spouse loosing their sense of self. For anyone that is married and for a wife to get to this point, there were some precursors. I like how you addressed how to maintain for the longevity and to keep the peace. Thank you for sharing.

  2. Thank you Richard for the kinds words and reading through the blog. I pray everyday to be a husband and father after God's own heart. If I abide in Christ I can bear much good fruit. Bless you!

  3. As Pastor has stated, "Love is benefiting others at the expense of self". However, if that sacrifice is done with grudge, is it true love? Especially when it comes to our wives?

    I'm reminded of when I married my wife. She had financial debts before we married that started to show up with my name on them after we got married. I decided to take care of these debts before they got worse, but I wasn't too happy to do it. But in doing so I lifted that burden off her (with God's help through wisdom) so she can be free. True love is not easy. That's why only God can express the ultimate love - sacrificing His only Son for us.

  4. Thanks Karl for being transparent. It sounds like our Father has taught you to love your wife redemptively and sacrificially. Amen!


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