Saturday, January 8, 2011

Take the Lead

The Husband's Spiritual Leadership
A husband’s leadership is like a slow dance.  Your wife is in your arms, moving with you as you stay in step with the music.

How does a husband stay in step with God and lead his wife?

Here are some suggestions:

#1 Pray with your wife.
Prayer produces intimacy.  You grow closer to the person you pray for and with. And you grow closer to the ONE you pray to.  (This is also why NO husband should pray with a woman who is not his wife.  BUT that is for another post.)

Start by praying FOR your wife and even over your wife.  For instance, pray Psalm 20 quietly over your wife as she is sleeping next to you.  She doesn’t need to know but your Heavenly Father who sees in secret will reward you openly. 

Next, invite your wife to pray with you at least once a week depending on both your work schedules.  Praying together doesn’t have to be a longwinded experience.  In fact, pray the Scriptures together. Here is an example based on Numbers 6:24-26;

I pray that the Lord will bless and protect you my beautiful wife,
May the Lord always smile on you and give you His favor,
May He look you full in the face, give you peace and prosperity,
Because you are God’s gift to me and I love you, 
And I know the Lord loves you best,
May He help me to love you more,

See?  I would recommend her doing the same for you.  Here are great “his” & “hers” prayers from Philippians 1:3-11 (pray this for her) and Ephesians 1:15-29 (she prays this for you); copy, paste & rewrite to insert each other’s names.  I suggest you should open the prayer and she concludes the prayer. 

However, if your wife is a bit more introverted, encourage her to pray quietly.  While she prays quietly YOU pray quietly and WAIT!  Ask her to say “amen” to signify when she is done then you seal it with a loving kiss, embrace, and “thank you honey!

#2 Try fasting together.
Depending on your physical health fasting can be a great experience for a couple to share together.  Some couples I know fast together once a week, call each other on their lunch breaks to pray and enjoy breaking fast together.  It is a wonderful way to sacrifice time and self to God together!

#3 Read a devotional study together.
There are wonderful devotionals for individual use or for couples that can be incorporated into a couple’s spiritual life.  A devotional helps you to reflect and talk about God through the week.  It is a simple yet wonderful way to come together in God's presence.

#4 Enjoy a different kind of a movie night.
DVD teachings are a great way to share in a study of Scripture, topic, etc.  Most of the time we hear of a “movie” or “DVD” we are thinking entertainment.  But every once in a while, invest in a DVD focused on marriage or the Bible.  Most are in segments so you can watch a little bit at a time and talk about the subject afterwards.

Here is a warning: Do not use these activities to make up for not spending personal time with your Heavenly Father.  Your ability to lead in the home flows from your time with God!

Personally speaking, it has been a challenge to hold down a consistent devotional time with my beautiful wife.  We’ve done several things through the years and had fun doing them (some more than others).  Four children in the midst of career changes, school, and fulltime ministry always seem to change our lifestyle.

But early on in my relationship I made a commitment to pray for her, over her and speak life to my wife.  Early on I started to bless my wife because I knew she was a unique irreplaceable gift.  I say, “God bless you” when she sneezes and when I’m leaving the home, saying goodbye, or just thinking of her.  Before marriage I asked her to pray for me because I needed it.  And she did pray.  She continues to pray.  She is my greatest prayer partner.  She is my best friend.

As men we want tangible and immediate results.  Sorry brother.  God doesn’t work that way.  He rewards FAITHFULNESS and those who diligently seek His face.  And if you operate by faith the rewards will be awesome.
  • Your wife will respect you more
  • Your wife will be more sure and secure in your love
  • You will experience an increase in your love for your wife
  • You will both see things God’s way on major life issues consistently
  • Your emotional and physical intimacy will increase
  • You will enjoy greater peace, joy and God’s Presence in your home

Love is friendship set to musicTake the lead in the dance.  Be the man.  Be proactive.  Reject spiritual passivity.  Accept your responsibility as the husband.  Step out and lead courageously.  Believe God for great reward.

Please share your thoughts below on how a husband can lead spiritually or anything that comes to mine concerning this post.

Thank you!

Minister Onorio

Be on your guard; stand firm in the faith; be men of courage; be strong. And do everything with love. 1 Corinthians 16:13-14 NIV


  1. Derrick RedmondJanuary 12, 2011

    Wow! Is the first thing that comes to mind. This is really helpful Minister. I appreciate you sharing this for us husbands. Definitely going to apply to my life.

  2. Thank you my brother.
    Just one brother in the struggle sharing with my brothers.
    I'm no expert, but I'm in the ring :-)
    Praise the Lord!

  3. Oh wow, :) Thank you very much for this post Minister. I am currently in a very deep, committed friendship, that we are struggling with keeping platonic. We already know it was a divine appointment through God, but are unsure where to take our feelings in this relationship. I'm certain we both feel like we're a match...but we both have sooo much to do still for the Lord, and are trying not to be immature about it.

    But, now reading this...I'm getting a little concerned about our intimacy level. We go through these things, and have gone through these things together, as friends, but it's made our bond extremely strong, and we're not married. I am going to need to pray on this...but yea, definitely, our level of intimacy is so beyond friendship, that we could almost read each others minds. I'm certain that he has on occasions. God has definitely blessed us with this relationship, but...I want to do things His way, I want Him to be pleased with where we take things. And if He doesn't want us to be more than friends...I want to be able to accept that.

    :/ I'm struggling with things, but thank you for posting this, it's helped me get some insight.

    (I noticed this post is old. :) But I'll be checking out more of this blog.)

  4. Thank you XxServantoftheLordxX for posting! Yes this post is old. And its been a while for me. My creative energies have been pulled by ministry developments along with my adjustment to my doctorate of ministry program. But please let me know what you think of the other articles. Blessings!


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