Leadership Tips

As the Director of the International Christian Brotherhood, founded by Rev. AR Bernard, I have the privilege of serving many brothers.  We are a Christian fraternal organization whose purpose is to train men in Christ-likeness as the standard of manhood.  

I had a good time answering their questions about work-life balance, ministry to men and more.  I decided to share the Q&A with you.  Hope you enjoy.

WHAT TIPS WOULD YOU GIVE A NEW MEN’S MINISTRY LEADER?

Before I give a tip, I want to say, that if you are reading this and you are member of ICB – thank you! Thank you for answering the call to be a leader and taking up the call to train men.

First, develop and stay in the habit of prayer and meditating on Scripture. That is your lifeblood! There are so many resources like devotionals, books with written prayers, etc. to keep you connected to the Truth. For instance, http://examen.me has been a real source of journaling and meditation for me for a few months now. A leader has to stay connected to The Source and continually grow not only in Bible knowledge, but in spiritual transformation. Only by spending time in the spirit will the knowledge in our heads renew our minds, sink down into our hearts and move our hands to glorify the Savior. This is the first step in developing what Andrew Murray called the greatest virtue; humility. Humility is not thinking lowly about yourself, it is simply freedom to put God’s will and the interests of others ahead of your own.

And do you have real brothers? There are a lot of leaders who don’t have genuine brothers who they can be themselves with and who hold them accountable. My wife knows who to call to hold me accountable. But it shouldn’t have to come to that. There are men who I break bread with, pray with, and simply talk to about life’s ebbs and flows. You can’t lead men and act like a superstar or some guru. You’ll have a couple of sycophants but no real impact on men’s lives. You need brothers who will want the best for you and who bring the best out in you. Period.

Respect the men you serve. They deserve your respect. They are the good guys who are committed to their spiritual maturity. You have answered the call to lead but that doesn’t make you better than them or closer to God. You answered the call because you heard the call; now respect them because God is at work. Pray for them continually. God will also be training you through them even if you are their mentor.

Here is the most important point; if you really respect them then you will be training them to replace you. You will be giving them everything that they need so you can count on them as a fellow soldier and even general in God’s army to train men. Your success as a leader is determined by how many leaders you raise up. Not by how many followers you keep. The men are not there for your personal self-aggrandizement.

Never assume you know the men. You are always getting to know them and they are getting to know you. Love the brothers. Ask God to give you a heart for them including the ones that don’t cooperate. In ICB there is a system of accountability so we don’t have to put up with foolishness but we want brothers to grow. Pray to see them the way God sees them and resist the temptation to “name” them or “categorize” them. Always be open to God’s ability to surprise you by miraculously transforming his head, heart and habits.

Finally, be in it for the long haul. You have to resist the temptation to always need “tangible” results. As men we want the immediate, tangible, result of our work; a paycheck, certification, etc. But maturity is a process that God is mysteriously working in as well. And God wants all the glory. Our business is to remain faithful, prayerful, humble and growing alongside our brothers. So remember to always invest in yourself through books, online courses, and so forth that will feed you as a leader. God is working in you, through and with you!

LOOKING AT YOURSELF IN THE MIRROR WHAT KIND OF MAN DO YOU SEE? HOW DIFFERENT IS THAT MAN LETS SAY FROM TEN, TWENTY YEARS AGO?

Right now I need a shave :-)

There is a lot different. I really wouldn’t know where to start. 

IN A WORLD WHERE MEN ARE CONSISTENTLY AND THOROUGHLY DISCOUNTED AND RIDICULED, HOW CAN WE EXPECT TO BE REGARDED AS PRIESTS, PROPHETS, AND KINGS?

Prove the world wrong. I love a challenge. Don’t you? Be the light in the darkness the Savior has called you to be.

Do you define yourself or does the world? Do you need the validation and affirmation of the world? We should live for the praise of God and not men. I’m reminded of Ed Cole’s book “Strong Men in Tough Times.” We are in an age that needs to see Daniels and Josephs. Be God’s man by rejecting passivity, accepting responsibility, leading courageously and trusting the Father for your reward. Pressure produces diamonds. The world wants to make you bitter. God wants to make you better through the storms and oppositions.

Like my brother David Sterling said to me, “You are a man. God’s son. He has built to lift the weight.” Trust Him in the Wilderness and He will guide you by His right hand into your Promised Land.

Here are some keys;

1. Surrender your private thoughts and life to God (our integrity proves who we are)

2. Prayerfully seek godly role models and mentors (our humility proves who we are)

3. Be a brother and have brothers who will hold you accountable (our love for each other proves who we are)

4. Remember the promises of God (our focus proves who we are)

5. Invest in other men (training other men proves who we are)

Expect God to show Himself strong on your behalf, bring glory to His Name and order to the chaos.