How do you define fatherhood?
What do our children need from us as father?
I want to start a conversation with you concerning one of the best books I’ve ever read entitled The Blessing by Gary Smalley and John Trent.
And I want to connect some of the points of the book to our responsibility as fathers. The book is a must read for every Christian but especially Christian parents.
One of the most important things we can do as Christian fathers is to “bless” our sons and daughters.
What does it mean to bless our children?
Isn’t that reserved for pastors, priests, etc.?
No! You are the Patriarch of your home and family. You are a royal priesthood in Christ. God calls you to a personal relationship with him and gives to everyone the promise of the Holy Spirit.
Yes there are pastors and teachers but God is going to hold YOU accountable for your home.
Walk in the authority of a son of God and be a father after God’s own heart!
You don’t know how? You never had your father?
Even if you had the best dad in the world you still need the Spirit of Fatherhood to do and be the father your children need! You can’t walk in your earthly daddy’s shoes. You have to put on the gear your Heavenly Father designed just for you.
To bless does mean so many things.
- To empower
- To make happy
But the blessing is the gift of unconditional love and acceptance. God calls fathers to give their children this blessing.
Our children shouldn’t have to do anything to earn our love. And there is nothing they can do to lose it. But our love shouldn’t be passive. We should be pursuing our children. Not only providing for their wellbeing but seeking their best interests and helping them to cultivate their own happiness.
There is more I want to share but I’ve asked some questions and would love your feedback.
I’ll be trying to unpack “The Blessing” and the five elements outlined by Trent and Smalley over the next few weeks.
But I want to hear from you! Please post your questions, thoughts, and reflections on fatherhood below.
Your brother,
Minister Onorio
Being a good father is not just being there, but being involved and sensitive to our children’s needs, physical, emotional and spiritual. You come home from work and your children want you to read them a story or play a bit. Do you send them to mom, who has been with them all day? Your daughter wants to share something from her school day. Do you say not right now, later? And later does not come that evening, perhaps it comes tomorrow, perhaps. Being a good father is also being a good husband. Spending time with our children not just minutes, I am talking about quality time, will not only form a strong bond but it will also give the mothers a break that they so deserve. Being a good father is not just being there, but being involved, lest one day we may be singing the lyrics of the song Cats in the Cradle by Harry Chapin. What to hear it, here it is:
ReplyDeleteA child arrived just the other day,
He came to the world in the usual way.
But there were planes to catch, and bills to pay.
He learned to walk while I was away.
And he was talking 'fore I knew it, and as he grew,
He'd say, "I'm gonna be like you, dad.
You know I'm gonna be like you."
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
"When you coming home, dad?" "I don't know when,
But we'll get together then.
You know we'll have a good time then."
My son turned ten just the other day.
He said, "Thanks for the ball, dad, come on let's play.
Can you teach me to throw?" I said, "Not today,
I got a lot to do." He said, "That's ok."
And he walked away, but his smile never dimmed,
Said, "I'm gonna be like him, yeah.
You know I'm gonna be like him."
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
"When you coming home, dad?" "I don't know when,
But we'll get together then.
You know we'll have a good time then."
Well, he came from college just the other day,
So much like a man I just had to say,
"Son, I'm proud of you. Can you sit for a while?"
He shook his head, and he said with a smile,
"What I'd really like, dad, is to borrow the car keys.
See you later. Can I have them please?"
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
"When you coming home, son?" "I don't know when,
But we'll get together then, dad.
You know we'll have a good time then."
I've long since retired and my son's moved away.
I called him up just the other day.
I said, "I'd like to see you if you don't mind."
He said, "I'd love to, dad, if I could find the time.
You see, my new job's a hassle, and the kid's got the flu,
But it's sure nice talking to you, dad.
It's been sure nice talking to you."
And as I hung up the phone, it occurred to me,
He'd grown up just like me.
My boy was just like me.
And the cat's in the cradle and the silver spoon,
Little boy blue and the man in the moon.
"When you coming home, son?" "I don't know when,
But we'll get together then, dad.
You know we'll have a good time then."
In Christ Business
Jesus Ferrer
Thanks Jesus for posting! Incredible words. I'm actually going to post on the three kinds of fathers - absent, involved and strategic. The father/husband you are describing isn't simply involved - but strategically bringing the best out in his family. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteI think one ingredient to be a good father is to display real life examples in front of your children. For example, recently I ran into street traffic while driving my daughter to school. Because of my own impatience and time pressure I chose to drive through a Wendy's parking lot to get to a street that had no traffic. Once I left the parking lot I noticed in my rear view mirror others had followed my lead. It came to my awareness that not only did I sin but I even led others to sin. I pulled over, admitted to my daughter what I did was wrong and prayed to God for forgiveness in front of her. Even though this incident may be considered by some as small and minor I have learned that our children listen more to what we do rather than what we say. Our actions in front of our children can speak volumes to them.
ReplyDeleteKarl - thank you so much for sharing and being transparent. Your daughter is blessed.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm doubly blessed and encouraged to be honest and humble.
Minister Onorio