The Father's Touch

A hug.  A kiss.  Holding hands.  It is never enough to simply say, “I love you.”  We have to show it.

God has called fathers to connect with our children through meaningful touch.  This is the first element of “The Blessing.”

It should start when your child is in the womb laying hands on the belly with tenderness and prayer.

Trent & Smalley define meaningful touch as, “a gentle touch, stroke, kiss, or hug given by significant people in our lives (a husband or wife, parent, close friend and so on).”

Some fathers start off affectionate but then get distracted by work.  Sometimes we stop giving meaningful touch because our child “feels” different.  Our sons begin to “feel” muscular and strong and so we back away.  Our daughter’s bodies begin to mature, no longer like little girls, and we back away.

No.  Don’t do that.  They need the father’s touch.

Meaningful touch is a symbolic transference of power, authority, validation and acceptance.

This is one of the reasons why Dr. James Dobson advises parents not to use their hands to discipline children.  Our hands should always signal acceptance and love.

And God forbid that you would withhold meaningful touch as punishment!  Learn my brothers to discipline in love and never to withhold love!

Never withhold your touch.  That is cruel.  And you will reap the whirlwind.

No matter how old your child, repent and engage by faith in a consistent demonstration of meaningful touch.

You have to read the book but here is an example of the power of meaningful touch:

“Repeatedly Dr. Krieger has found that hemoglobin levels in both people’s bloodstreams go up during the act of the laying on of hands. As hemoglobin levels are invigorated, body tissues receive more oxygen. This increase of oxygen energizes a person and can even aid in the regenerative process if he or she is ill. A number of physical changes take place when we reach out and touch. Studies show that touching can actually lower a person’s blood pressure. Low blood pressure is an important part of staying healthy. In a recent study UCLA found that just to maintain emotional and physical health, men and women need eight to ten meaningful touches each day. At times, the smallest act of touch can be a vehicle to communicating love and personal acceptance.”

Reach out.

There is power in the father’s touch.

Please share your thoughts and questions.

Your brother,

Minister Onorio

Remember to H.A.L.T

How do you respond to physical discomfort?

For instance, if you feel pain in your hand don’t you check to see what is wrong?

Our feelings or moods function the same way.  They let us know to stop and check the condition of our heart and mind.

If you fail to check your heart and mind you become vulnerable to spiritual distraction or deception.

Remember that most temptations to sin against God are based on unmet desires or needs.

Too many Christian men fail to be honest about what they are thinking and feeling. 

Instead of being honest they live in denial.  They think they can handle temptations in their own strength.

And so they end up sinning against God and their families.

Charles Stanley used the acronym H.A.L.T. as way for us to recognize when we are vulnerable and need to check in with the Lord.

H for Hungry: There are all kinds of hunger like the emotional and spiritual hunger for success, validation or control (to name a few).  Sometimes God has you wait on his provision.  Sometimes we just have to hunger more for God. 

A for Angry: Anger is a secondary emotion.  This means that anger is often based on some kind of hurt.  I will also add that many brothers manifest anger because they are depressed and don’t know how else to express it.  How do you respond when you are hurt?

L for Lonely: Loneliness can hit a man hard.  Why?  What many men value most is autonomy and independence.  We grow up thinking that we don’t need anything or anybody.  But we are designed for relationship and intimacy.

T for Tired: I have a confession.  When I am tired or disturbed from sleep I am the most ornery, irritable and bad tempered brother.  Maybe I am not alone?  But being tired is not simply about the physical.  We can become emotionally and spiritually weary and faint.

Ah!  There is so much more to say, not just about H.A.L.T, but fear, sadness, frustration, anxiety, guilt and more!

My point: What you feel is not the sin.  What you feel is a warning.  A warning to HALT!  Stop!  Turn to God and not your own strength.

Through His grace God will keep you from falling.

But build your walls of protection by:

1. Living life on purpose
2. Designing protection and accountability into your life
3. Having brothers you can call
4. Renew your thinking by reading, studying and memorizing Scripture

Please tell me what you think and post your thoughts below.

Your brother,

Minister Onorio