A Husband's Love

What does it mean for a husband to love his wife?

Love can be defined as benefiting the other at the expense of self.  This is in contrast to lust, which means to take from another to gratify itself. 

The Bible teaches that a husband’s love should be like the love of Jesus Christ for the church.  Remember that the church is not a building but the people chosen by God as the objects of his love.

In fact husbands are commanded to love.  How?  Love is not a feeling first but a decision.  And because of the Holy Spirit a Christian husband can benefit his wife at the expense of his ego, plans and desires.

So what does that love look like?

That love is sacrificial.  Our wants come second to her needs.  A husband’s love is unconditional.  We love her with makeup or no makeup.  We love her for who she is not only for what she does or doesn’t do for us.  Our love should set her apart from all other women.  She has to know that our eyes are only set on her because in our hearts no one can ever compare. 

Our lips should be inspired to consistently utter words of tenderness, appreciation, and healing.  Yes, I said healing.  Why?  Our wives have to walk through the dirt and garbage of this world.  They also experience stress on the job or the worry of being a good wife and mother.  Women tend to become anxious as they work for their families.  Wives and mothers lose their sense of self in giving to their husbands and children.  Our words have to remind them of their uniqueness, beauty, and encourage them to find spiritual rest in Christ Jesus.

Our actions and our words help our wives to walk in splendor.  Everyday should be their wedding day when they are with us.  We should magnify her strengths and help her to manage her weaknesses without judgment.  When she hurts, I hurt.  When she speaks she should know that I am listening. 

Does she feel cherished?  Can she draw strength from us as we draw our strength from the Father?  Do we intentionally esteem her and can she say, “I am my husband’s treasure and prize!” 

Love your wife as Christ loves the church. 

Please post your thoughts and questions below.

Your brother,

Minister Onorio

Icebergs and You

Who knows the “real you”?

Consider the image of the iceberg.  Cold.  Tough.  It’s the way a lot of men like pretending to be. 

When ships see an iceberg they have to steer clear of it.  Icebergs sink ships.

But it is not the part of the iceberg above the water that sinks the ship.  It is the part of the iceberg beneath the water, the part you can’t see, that sinks the ship.

Often what you see floating in the water is only 10% of the iceberg.  It is only the tip!   In reality 90% of the iceberg is beneath the water.

The iceberg is an image of our life.  Who people first meet is our personality.  But our character is who we are when no one is looking.  It is what you don’t see that sinks the ship.

The 10% of the iceberg that we let people see is our personality.  This is the level of cliché talk.  This is where we meet each other, joke around, talk about sports, politics and the weather.

But the 90% that no one sees is the real us.  This is the invisible side that we even try to hide from God and others.  Here is where our dreams, hopes, hang-ups, addictions, secret thoughts and pains all live.

It is the 90% that sinks our ships.  The scary part is that our gifts, abilities and personality can take us somewhere our character can’t sustain us.  We sink the ship of our careers, marriages and our children by not submitting the secret life to the living water found in Christ Jesus. 

The 90% is the part of our lives that need accountability.  This is where we need men who will be our mentors and men who will be genuine brothers.  The 90% often needs to submit to a humbling process in order to really be free.

But do you want to walk in truth?  Do you value your integrity, reputation and legacy more than your image?

God didn’t design you to do it alone. 

Who know the real you?

Who should you trust?  Who should you turn to?

First turn to God.  And then pray for a mentor and for brothers.

Maybe it is time to take a faith-risk and share with your mentor?

Or maybe it is time for you to lay aside the masks and be real with your brothers?

Please post your thoughts and questions below.

Your brother,

Minister Onorio